The Revitalization of my Life-Day 106- Change-37

Off to a good morning this morning. I didn't get a chance to work out, but I did wake up feeling good. I woke up with my wife on my mind. She is in graduate school and she has class twice a week. Her classes are evening classes so she gets home pretty late and sometimes I don't get to see her. Well, last night was one of those nights. She got home late, came in spoke, and went right to bed. I figured she was tired, so I didn't bother her. I just sat back and put myself in her shoes. I took a mental trip to the classroom and tried to teach first graders for a few hours. Then I went to college and sat in a classroom and listend to a professor babble about educational issues. After my mental trip in her shoes, I then asked myself, "would I feel like being bothered after a long day like that?" After careful consideration, I wouldn't. I would want to relax and not worry about doing anything.

I took myself out of the equation and made it all about her. When I got up this morning with her still on my mind, I said that I was going to do something nice for her. Instead of taking my daily jog, I went by the grocery store and bought a few roses in a vase and took them to her.

This is what life is all about. Making a sacrifice for someone else. There is no fun in life when all you think about is yourself. The true enjoyment comes from taking from you to give to someone else. I took away my run to give my wife a little smile. Are they equal? According to society, they are not, but society doesn't really know too much about that agape love. Love is not equal and it knows of no 50/50. All love knows is how to give. If we focus on giving and don't worry about recieiving, our reception will become so great that it will almost be overwhelming. So, if you have a spouse or significant other and they are busy all the time doing something positive and trying to better themselves, take a step back and take a mental journey in their shoes and you will realize why they act the way that they do...they are DRAINED! So instead of complain about what they are not doing, start doing for them. Pick up the slack. And not only pick up the slack, but comfort them in a way that they know they have a winner on their side in spite of the neglect that has been going on. Always remember just as much as you miss them, they miss you too. Just as much as you want whatever it is from them, they want it from you. They are just trying to do something to make life better for themselves which will advertently make life better for you!

"Give to give, not to receive"

-K.J Swint

The Revitilization of my Life-Day 105-CHANGE 34

My great grandmother use to always tell me, "laziness will kill you." I never really understood what she meant by that until now. If you don't get up and do something with yourself, you will eventually die and I mean die spiritually, metally, and yes even physically. What made me think about this was the few events that happened on yesterday. When I got off work yesterday, I went home and cut the grass. After cutting the grass, I began to work on one of my clients website (www.jolandagreen.com). After finishing the website, I then picked up one of the five books I am reading (The Art of Happiness by The Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler) and read about 15 pages of it. When I fianally put the book down and looked at the clock it was only 8:30pm. I was amazed at how much I had gotten done in the few hours I had been home. Once I realized how early it was, I picked up another book (The Life of Fredrick Douglass-for research on the novel I am writing) and begin to read. By now, I was beat. I put the book up and then went to bed.

A lot of times we complain about how much time we don't have and never really utilize the time we do have. I could have easily said that I had worked all day and I needed to rest and relax and I will wait until I was off to do all the things I did, but I didn't. I told myself that I had plenty of time to get it done if I just went and did it. This is how most of us think. We think that we need to be off and well rested before we can do certain things. Then when we are off, we bring about another excuse, "I'm off and I need some rest because I had a long week." This will continue on for years if you let it. Stop making excuses for your excuses. Suck it up and get it done. Most of the time you are not really too tired to do the things that you want to do, its just that it feels odd because it not part of what you normally do. BREAK YOUR ROUTINE! What if God had a routine with us? What if he only did things a certain way at a cretain time? How would our lives be? I break my routine all the time so that I will always have time for my wife. She never has to ask me to stop working on any of my projects because I put the time into them every spare minute I have and when it's time for us, it's time for us. If it takes me getting off work after a long day and coming home cutting the grass, then that's what I will do. But the benefit of knowing that my wife is pleased to know that she has time to spend with me and all things are taken care of is well worth the sacrifice. Again, I ask you, what if God was routine with us, where would we be?

-K.J Swint

The Revitalization of my Life-Day 104-Change 33

First off, please excuse my grammar and spelling because I am blogging this morning from my blackberry. My internet service doesn't comply with my laptop and my wife took her laptop to work. I just had to use what I had.

This morning has been one of those "redefining" mornings. First off, I didn't awake this morning because I never went to sleep last night. I had some issues with my back...it was hurting! I couldn't stand up straight and when I sat down it just as bad. I tossed and turned all night. I eventually got out of bed and started writing. Luckily, I had a lot of thoughts running through my head for a new novel and some for the current novel I'm working on. After jointing down a page worth of notes, I just sat there watching television, thinking. I started thinking about how we just don't pay attention to what we really have until it isn't there anymore.

I was staring at the walls and then I notice the sun peaking through the blinds. I asked myself,"how many people have really seen the sun come up (excluding seeing it on television)?" And not just seen it come up but appreciate the beauty of it and what it does. As I was thinking about this I noticed that it was time for my wife to get up so I went into the bedroom and told her I couldn't sleep. She looked at me and said, "back hurting that bad huh?" The look she had on her face made me go into deep thought. I immediately thought about how when one thing happens, we expect other things to follow. Its like we are programmed and don't even know it. Now, I had no intentions on doing what I'm about to tell you I did, until I had this thought. I got in the bed thinking I was about to get me a few hours of sleep before I go to work.

While I was laying there, I just couldn't get that "programmed" thought out of my head. I am the type of person that I make the calls within my life; I don't let my life make the calls. After about 15 minutes, I jumped up, got my stinky work out clothes out of the hamper, put them on and went jogging. Yes, my back was hurting. Yes I hadn't had any sleep. And yes, I hadn't had anything to eat. I refuse to let life dictate what I own...me! Just because I hadn't had any sleep and my back was hurting doesn't mean that I couldn't at least try to maintain my workout.

This is usually how it happens. When we start working toward something good, something bad happens and then we fall down for a long time and then try it again and then it happens again. Well, I'm here to tell you that you have to fight through it in order to make it stick. I just started back working out and I refuse to let these hiccups stop me. And the funny thing about my run this morning is that my back felt better while I was running than when I was laying in the bed.

Don't let this hiccups stop you. Your life is a blank canvas and you hold the paint brush. You can paint any picture you want. Don't let no one paint that picture for you. Yes, its going to get tough and yes you are going to feel the pain, but once you endure it a few times, you will realize that its not that hard to bear. What can you do today to start painting your own picture and not the picture that someone else has painted for you....what can you do?

"In order to understand and appreciate success, one must first endure and embrace failure"-K.J Swint

The Revitalization of my Life-Day 103-Change 32

Once again, I am hurting, but I worked out. I also didn't feel like running at all, but its over now and I feel good.

Like I said yesterday, the second day is going to be worst than the first day and it was. Half way through my run, I stopped. Yes, I stopped and I am not ashamed to say I did. It was for a brief moment because my knees were aching bad. But then I thought about what I posted yesterday and I started back running. I knew that they were hurting because they weren't use to the strain I was putting on them. Your body will tell you what you need to do sometimes if you listen. As I was running while my knees were hurting, my body begin to tell me that if you keep bending them, the pain will eventually go away. So I listened and started high stepping while running. Yes this looks weird, but it helped. After I did it a few times, I was back on my way to finishing my morning run.

This is just how life is; its painful sometimes, but you have to listen to the body of your life-God and he will tell you exactly what you need to do to make it through. I have a friend of mine right now who is pushing through the pain and is listening to his body-God, so he can make it through. He has sacrificed time away from his wife and traveling all the time. I asked him if he enjoyed it and he said "no, not at all. But its all worth it because I know that we are working towards something better and that's what keeps me going. Seeing my wife and my little girl happy and content is well worth what we have been through." You have to sacrifice at some point in your life in order to make your life better. No sacrifice, no better life!

"No sacrifice, no better life!"-K.J Swint

The Revitalization of my Life Day-102-Change 31

Once again, I am back at the running and working out again. Yes, I fell off, but it happens. You just can't stay away from it. I also started drinking protein shakes as well. While I was running I began to think about how painful it is when you’re starting over when working out. The first couple of steps when you first start jogging are rough. The next few steps are worst, and the last few are worst than any of them. Bottom line, it's hard and it hurts. But you have to take into consideration what's happening to your body. First, if your body isn't use to exercising, it's going to react to it. The first reaction is pain. Pain is not always bad. In this scenario, it's good. Once your body gets use to exercising, there will be no more pain. This is usually why most people stop working out. They feel this pain and think that they will hurt something more if they keep going. Well, I am here to tell you, you won't hurt anything more; you will only help something...your body!

You have to persevere through the pain in order to make things better. When you feel like stopping, you have to keep pushing. While I was running this morning, my knees started aching and I wanted to stop. They were hurting so bad until I changed the way I was running. I refuse to stop because I wanted to go ahead and get it over. You can't let pain stop you. Think about this for a minute. When doctors operate on people to make them better, they tear things, break things, cut things, etc. When that person wakes up from the surgery, they are in pain! They are bruised up and they have to endure the pain for weeks or even months before they can get back to normal. This is the same way working out is. You have to go through it to make it better.

To really understand it, think about this. Jesus had the power to turn water into wine to make a little food into a lot of food. He had all of this power but yet when he was hanging on the cross, he just suffered. He had to endure the pain in order to make things better. So, I look at it this way, if he could endure the pain that he endured, then the pain that we endure from working out, is nothing. This lets you know that pain is ok to endure if it's for a good reason or good cause. Working out is a good cause!

"Pain is the only sign that lets your body know that change is happening"-K.J Swint

The Revitalization of my Life Day-101-Change 30

So, I'm sitting in Starbucks with two computers, five books, a note pad, pen, and my mind. It’s a funny site, but it's necessary to get things done, especially this novel. I have learned that the more I read, the more I can get creative with my words. For a long time I use to try and fool myself into thinking I was smarter than I really was. Truth was, I was smart, but not like I thought. I was living a lie. Now I don't live that lie anymore. I realized my weakness and I try to make it stronger. My weakness is my vocabulary. It's not strong enough to carry the weight of my writing. In order to get my point across or keep my audience interested, I need to be able to use an array of words. Once I came to grips with this, I began to get better. People began to respond to my words differently. It also made my message clearer. This is why I have five books with me now that I will be reading as soon as I finish this blog.

Don't think that you are so good at something that you don't have to increase your skill. Professionals only remain professionals because they exercise their skills. If you feel that you are good or even great at something, test yourself to see if you can become better. One of two things will be discovered. Either you will see that you are not as good as you think or you will discover that you can be better. Either way, you'll be making a discovery that will better you. You can use this on anything and I do mean anything. If you think you are a good lover, test yourself. If you find out you can make yourself better, that's a good thing for you and your partner! If you don't believe me just try it.

"The only person that trying ever hurt was the one that didn't try"-K.J Swint

The Revitalization of my Life Day-100-Change 29

This morning was kind of rocky. I woke up late and with a headache, but I'm good. I feel refreshed in spite of. I had my meditation and my morning prayer and now its show time.

It has now been day 100 for me posting to this blog. Now it's been days in between where I didn't post and those were the important days. Please excuse any sentences that don't make sense or any of my rambling because I seem to be still sleepy. Anyway, where was I? Oh, the important days. The most important days are the ones where I didn't post. These days are important because they were the days that I was tested. Either something happened or was happening as to why I didn't post to my blog. Either I was going through something or had so much on my plate that I couldn't get around to it. I didn't realize this until yesterday. My idea when I first started posting to this blog was to post an entry every day. I was determined. I felt as if I could make a difference if I posted every day. But now I think differently. You have to have time to test. Just like when you are in school. You can study all day and night but at some point you have to take the test. And when it's test time there are no notes, no books, no nothing just you and the test. It's the same way with life.

We want to do a lot of things in our life. We want to have a nice job with a nice salary and live in a nice house. We want all of these things but a lot of us don't want to do what it takes to get these things. How can you have a nice job when you don't put for the effort to excel at the one you are at now? How can you have a nice house when you go shopping every chance you get and don't save any money? These are the things we miss along the journey in life. When it's time to take the test, we always fail because we were too busy trying to lay out our life instead of live it. Just like with me and this blog. All I wanted to do was just blog everyday about me changing my life. But what I found out was that in order to really change my life I had to rearrange some things and that takes time and so I had to step away from the computer to get things together and then come back to it. Now, my blogs are more meaningful. They have a little more life to them because of the experience that I obtained my trying to revitalize my life. Yes, there were times where I just didn't feel like posting and then there were times where I had nothing to post. But that's the beauty of it because it shows you that's just how life really is. It shows you that I am no different from you. The only difference is that I am persevering through all of the obstacles that you might have taken a seat on. I am pushing and pushing until something happens. Maybe you are too. If you are, that's great! If you aren't, well you need to get with it!

I am not some superstar telling you this rags to riches story about how I made a million dollars from nothing. I am just an average guy with average problems and situations just like you. I am not getting paid to write this. I am not getting paid if you read this. I only get paid from delivering the message that's within these words and my payment is not of money but of blessings. When God puts something on your heart, I have learned that you should do it, even if it seems crazy. What's crazy to you might make sense to someone else.

There are things you can do to get what you want in life. You just have to be willing to do the small things to make the big things happen. You have all that you need to get it done. You don't need to win the lottery for your finances to be right. All you need to do is budget your money and stop trying to live like the people next door or those you see on television. Just get up and make that first step. You might fall when you make it, but get back up and try it again. You might fall after the next few steps, but get back up and keep going. When you get after a few falls and turn around you will see that you are closer to your goal than you were before you took any steps at all.

"Even though you fall while you are trying to reach a goal, you are still much closer than you were before you attempted to take the first step."-K.J Swint

The Revitalization of my Life Day-99-Change 28

Once again, I woke up this morning feeling GREAT! I had a productive day yesterday and I am up at it again early this morning. Yes, I wanted to stay in the bed and sleep a little bit longer, but my urgency to tell you what happened to me yesterday just wouldn't let me sleep another wink.

I was in Barnes and Nobles working on a website for one of my clients. Everything seemed normal as usual. The coffee machine was screaming as if to say your cup is ready and there was a lot of chatter amongst people going on. While I was setting up my computers to get started I spotted an old man at the counter stirring his coffee. He glanced at me and summoned me to come over where he was. This seemed a bit strange to me and I thought I was seeing things so I stayed seated. Then he looks over at me again and summoned me once more. This time I went over. He looked down at my shirt (I had on my fraternity shirt) and said, "When an old man calls, you come see what he wants." He then shook my hand and I knew he was a Kappa. He begins to talk about what school he went to and the good ole days and then it began to happen. He looked me straight in the eye and asked me what my profession was. I told him I was a banker. He nodded and smiled. Then he asked me what I was doing at Barnes and Nobles. I was really working on websites but I told him I was writing before I knew it. He asked what I was writing. I explained to him that I was working on a novel of fiction. Now things started to get interested. He didn't ask me what the novel was about, he just looked at me and began to tell me about news paper he once ran The Birmingham World. At this point, I am thinking to myself, "This old fella is just talking to hear himself talk." After he gets into his story, he pulls up a chair where I was sitting and says, "Sit down here for a minute."

I had a lot of work to do and I really needed to get started, but I sat down because I was always taught that when old folk want to talk to you, there something that needed to be heard. He started telling me different stories about himself and the era (Civil Rights) in which he grew up in. He then gets deep into his story and looks at me with a conviction in his eyes. He stops in mid sentence, picks up my pen and says, "This is where the power lies. If you want to write about something, write about something meaningful. There are a lot of things that the younger generation needs to hear and this is the way to do it. I am a firm believer in the Master (God) and when he speaks I listen. I was on my way to Books a Million and my first mind told me to come here, but then my second mind told me to go there. I was told to always go with your first mind because that's the Master speaking to you. I think he sent me here for a reason. Now, write that down." I was speechless. I had a million thoughts running through my head. It was happening so fast that I couldn't respond to anything he said because right after he told me that he immediately began a conversation about his activity in the Civil Rights Movement.

We talked for about an hour and as we talked he would always say, "Write that down." I thought it was funny, but he was so serious. After our conversation he gave me his home number and cell number to call him anytime I needed something to write about. As he was leaving, he stopped in his steps, turned around looked me square in the eyes and said, "And the title of the book is going to be-He Who Understands, write that down." I was taken by all of this. Here I was just yesterday talking about finding my profession and now look what happened. When you let go and let God, things start to happen. I guess I was holding on to the fact that I wasn't a published author who has a book on the best sellers list and who didn't get paid monies for doing my work. But I realized yesterday that riches don't lie in the value of a dollar, but rather in the value of a person’s spirit. There are many people that have money, but are unhappy and then you have those who don't have much from society's point of view but are wealthy in spirit.

I will tell everyone that I didn't know we were poor until I got to college because my great grandmother kept us rich in spirit. And to correct myself, we were never poor and I will never be poor because my spirit is rich. Don't think that money defines being rich because it doesn't. Take a minute to reflect on the great moments in your life and ask yourself, "was money the reason for that moment being so GREAT?"

"Being rich with money is nothing like being wealthy in spirit"-K.J Swint

The Revitalization of my Life Day 98-The Change 27

Man it feels good to be back at writing again. I got off to an early start this morning and hopefully I can continue until the end of the day. I am still on track with working on my manuscript for my new novel. I have written two chapters so far and I am excited about the upcoming chapters. I use to sit and wonder why am I doing all this writing? Some people probably think that I am crazy to get up at 6am on my off day to go to Starbucks and write. Hell, I think I am a little crazy. I guess this is a part of fulfilling your dream. Doing the things that doesn't make sense to you or other people. When no one understands, God does. I use to sit around and pray to God to show me what it is that I am suppose to be doing with my life. I have friends of mine who have a profession. Some are doctors, some are lawyers, some are teachers, some are police officers and so on. I on the other hand, don't have a profession to call upon. As I prayed I found myself still searching for that profession. All the while I was still writing. Then it hit me, I guess my profession is a writer. No, I am not making any money from it but from time to time, I impact lives in a positive way. There have been a few times that people have been moved by words I have written. I guess a changed life is a whole lot better than a check because you can't put a price on a persons life.

Some times we are so focused on what other people have that we don't pay attention to what we have. Here I was trying to find my profession through the standards that society has set not realizing that God had already given me a profession and that's what really matters. It's easy to get caught up in the standards that society has set for us. We pray and pray to God to bless us with certain things not realizing that he has already given us what we prayed for. The reason why we can't see it is because we are looking for it the way we want it to be instead of the way that God wants it to be. We want it to be wrapped in pretty wrapping paper and have a big bow on it with our name on it. Let me go ahead and tell you, he will not give it to you like this if you are expecting it that way.

Stop praying for things that God has already given you and start sending those prayers up for others who need it. It's better to give than receive. I know it may be hard sometimes but just try it. And also, God can only do so much for you before you start doing for yourself. Don't pray to God to get you out of debt and then turn around and spend money on things you don't need like a new pair of shoes when you have over 20 pair in your closet. If you do the little that you can do like save that money that you were going to spend on shoes or put it towards a bill, then God will do the rest. He will see that you are putting forth a great effort and then the blessings will come. If he can sacrifice his only son for you, the least you (we) can do is sacrifice a pair of shoes. That's the least you (we) can do. Help God to help you so that you can help others.

"Help God to help you so that you can help others"-K.J Swint