For the past few days I have been on top of my game. I have been diligently working on my web pages and my book. In the mean time I have been maintaining my marriage. I leave the house early enough to work until I have to go to work and then when I get off I work for a while and then it's time for the wife. I never let my work get in the way of spending time with my wife. Just like the other day, I was at work and I was checking my bank account and I noticed that I had saved a few dollars by not eating out as much as I use to. Instead of going out and getting something for myself, I decided that I would get her something. There were some shoes I had been watching since the summer that I wanted to get for her, but I had other things to do so I just put it off. Well, now was the time to get those shoes. I went in and I was hoping that they had them in her size and low and behold, they did! They were a tad bit pricey, but it didn't matter because I had saved for it. I got the shoes and took them home to her. She was a bit taken because it's so close to Christmas and she was receiving a gift. She asked me was it a Christmas gift and Itold her no. I told her that it was just a gift that I wanted to give her. I wanted her to know that I didn't have to wait for Christmas to give her a gift-I could do it any time I want. I don't let days determine when I give her gifts, that's why I do it all year long.
It's been kind of hard for me throughout my life because I have always been different. No one really understands me. Most of the time they think that there is a motive behind the way I am. There is no motive, but there is a reason. You see, I lost my mother when I was six years of age. This was devastating itself but to make things worse, she died on Christmas Eve. Imagine a kid waking up on Christmas to find out that his mother has passed away and you really don't know what's going on at that age but you do know that everyone is sad and that's enough. But I did have someone to fall upon and that was my great grandmother, She raised me to be the man that I am today. She taught me life lessons, even though all she had was a six grade education. I have never met anyone like her in my life. The one thing that sticks out in my mind is something she told me when I was about in the third grade. I was sitting at the table doing my homework and i was looking a little frustrated as if I just couldn't get what I was doing. Well, I was working on my multiplication problems. She looked at the book and looked at me and sat down. She had this blank look on her face and I knew she was about to tell me something. She said to me, "Baby, momma can't help you with your homework, so you need to learn as much as you can while you are at school." It was an amazing moment because it was almost as if I knew exactly what she was saying at that age. From that point on I always made sure I got a clear understanding of everything before I left school. I even did my homework at school just in case I had any problems. After that day, she never said anything else about my homework. It was like she knew that I would make it happen.
But then, something happened. Later on in life, my junior year in high school, she passed away. I thought my life was over. I didn't want to do anything because everything that I was doing was for her. She was my world. I was lost for about a week and then she came to me in a dream and told me that she wanted me to live life like she taught me. From that moment on I made a vow to always treat women like they were queens because that is how I treated her. We had our ups and downs, but in the end I made sure she was taken care of. I told myself that I would be there for women even if they didn't know me. If they were down, I would be the one to pick them up. If they needed help, I would be the one to help them. Little did I know that this would cause problems for me in my personal life as well as my work life. Whenever I would see a woman down, I would buy them flowers or a card or their favorite snack; or if they got a promotion r even on Valentine’s Day if they didn't have a significant other. I was just trying to be nice. I was trying to be that, "pick me upper" for a moment. This came back to haunt me. Rumors would go around the office that I was trying to "get with" the women that I did this for. I was even accused of having an affair with a woman and they threatened to fire me. All of this was done just because I was being a nice man. But did it stop me, NOPE. I made a vow to myself and to my great grandmother. I would rather get fired for being nice than to stop being nice. That's just how she raised me, stand for what you believe in and I believed in her. Oh, and I forget to mention that my relationships. Let’s just say that the women didn't like the idea of me giving another woman flowers or anything of that nature. Did it stop me, NOPE. I made a promise and I was going to keep it.
Sometimes you have to continue to be yourself regardless of what others say or do. When you have right in your heart and others see wrong, you have to go with your heart. It may hurt and you may get ridiculed, but its well worth it when that person comes back to you and says, "Thank you. You changed my life." To me there are no rules when it comes to being nice. That's why I bought my wife shoes days before Christmas. I don't have to wait for a certain day to give her gifts. I can do it any day. I am not consumed nor will I ever e consumed by what should be when I can make it the way I want it to be. My marriage and my life are like a blank canvas everyday and I plan on painting the picture I want each morning I wake up. I refuse to wait on a day or some special occasion before I can do things that I want to do. God made the rules and those are the only rules I plan on following. As long as they are within his guidelines, I am fine. When he tells me to start giving gifts on certain occasions only, that's when I will do it...until then, I am my own rule maker in my life and in my marriage.
"Happiness is not defined by what you do, but how you feel when it's done"-K.J Swint
No comments:
Post a Comment