When I first begin this revitalization thing, I was mainly focusing on the physical aspect of myself. I didn't think it was going to affect my entire life. I recently just stopped doing all of the extra curricular activities that I do. I deactivate my facebook page. Yes, this was the one tool that gave me access to showcase my writing skills. Most people thought I was crazy for doing so, but I had to do it. Then I gave up writing personalized poems for people along with framing them. If you didn't know, I would write the poem for that special occasion and then make the frame to suit the occasion. I also gave up web design. and last but not least, I gave up speaking engagements. Every so often, people would ask me to recite a poem for an event. I would write the poem myself and make it personal to fit the occasion and people who it was for and then recite it. Everyone who I talk to say the same thing, "why?" Hell, I even asked myself that question a few times. All of these things I love to do because I am very creative and every time I create something, it's better than what I created before. And then to see someone appreciate what I call "my work of art" is just amazing. So why would I give that up?
Well, at certain points in your life when you have a lot going on, you have to stop and get things in order and I am at that point. I have too much going on. It's very unorganized and I don't like to be unorganized. I like having things in order. So, in order to get my life in order, I must clean my plate of my pending projects and create some organization. I almost gave up writing as well. Yea, it's gotten just that bad. But I think God knew that doing that would be doing a little too much. On the day I was about to do it, I ran into a friend that I hadn't spoken to in all most a year. I was at my usual spot (starbucks) and she came in. She had the biggest smile on her face and I asked her what was the reason she was cheesing so. She begin to tell me that she had gotten involved with a guy and that it was just GREAT! She told me that she thought about me on Valentines Day. I asked her why because I thought that was little odd. She said that she thought about what I had told her about her self worth. She said that when she looked at what he had done for her for Valentine's Day, she said to herself, "this is what Kelvin was talking about...this is what I am worth and more." I was beside myself. I didn't know what to say. I played it off and told her that I was happy for her. Little do she know she had just as much of an impact on me as I did her.
This made me realize that I had words that need to be heard. If someone can think about you on a special occasion and its because of something positive you said, you need to keep doing what you do. This gave me the strength to keep writing. Writing to me is not about self gratification but more so about inspiring. If no one ever knew who I was and never gave me any credit for anything I ever wrote, but lives were changed by my words...I would be perfectly fine because that is my purpose for writing and doing anything that I do. Maybe one day I will get back at doing frames and personalized poetry and speaking engagements and web pages, but for right now, I will just stick to writing. Don't know if it's my purpose, but I am going to ride it out until the god Lord tell me to stop!
"I don't give to get, I just do it because it feels good"-K.J Swint
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